I was six years old when my grandfather had his heart attack. Hospitals were not friendly places in 1963, and children were not allowed on the patient floors. I recall dutifully waiting in the hospital lobby with a book while my mother, grandmother and my grandmother’s oldest sister visited my grandfather.
Every family has at least one rule breaker for whom the normal conventions of style and behavior do not apply. Some would consider them eccentric, but when you are six they are both fun and daring. My great Aunt Margaret was that person, and when she came to the hospital lobby to check on me she insisted that I needed to see my grandfather. Bypassing the main desk, she led me up a back stairwell to his room.
Within moments of our arrival, our family physician stepped into the room. I still recall that sense of panic thinking that I was in a lot of trouble for being there. Instead, he turned the situation into a teachable moment, saying to my grandfather “If you want to see him grow up, you must quit smoking.”
After being released from the hospital my grandfather went through the entire house collecting everything that was associated with tobacco. His pipes, cigars, tobacco pouches, cigarettes, lighters and ash trays all went into the burning barrel in the alley behind the garage. The only tobacco related item that escaped the holocaust was a brass ashtray fashioned to look like a fisherman’s rowboat which he kept on his dresser for loose change.
Upon his retirement, he took up golfing, often taking one of my brothers along because he could hit the ball further than what his eyes could see. He had the opportunity to travel and welcome more grandchildren into the world. He even lived long enough to see me graduate from dental school. His brass boat ashtray now rests on my dresser, serving as a daily reminder of his sacrifice to see me grow up.
I often share this story with my patients who are struggling with a tobacco addiction. With the right motivation, we can do extraordinary things to enjoy the great benefits of a healthier life.
